something have changed...

There was a flutter, and then a movement, deep down. It started with a talk, then another and reflection. yes reflection, something which was lost was found again.

I have written things here which i could not relate anymore. I had become much calm, with a sense of purpose and belonging what i call the rootedness about life. That had come after my "matrix" moment when i was able to hold back and look at my life. I could think and differentiate my "wants" and my "needs". I seeked "happiness" but missed out on "fun". But i still had a sense to calmness inside.

Then it changed, it was not a sudden change. No pushed to the wall moment, no beaten to death event, no crashing of egos and no pain in the heart. It just happened, gradually, slowly and without me even knowing it.

Over years, that calmness had given way to agitation, frustration and a perennial sense of agitation. Nothing seemed right, never being at ease, commotion of emotions, un-surety of the next step and sense of uprootedness.

Today talking to PD, helping him out, touched some nerves, joined some chords and it started coming back. You never know what you have lost till you find it again.

Let me not reflect and try to describe how it came back. I can breathe now...really breathe...and it feels nice!!!!!

It felt as if i had not done that for years...taking a lot of air in and feeling it. you know that feeling of walking on air...thats what i feel now.

Some more metaphor and then close for the day....feels like i had entered the matrix again without knowing it, and now i am un-plugged.

i guess people really (!!!!) come in your life for some reason, at the right moment and at the right time, you just have to see and it make most of it.

Thanks PD for helping me out.