Friday, March 26, 2004

looking up...

live has its own way of telling u that keep going on...there still more to me then what u think u know...
i am not sure if i am making sense here...but if its really like this then living and learning from life itself would be a journey worth pursuing and enjoyable too...

i have to ask myself then that am i really doing that...work is there...passion for work too...but is that everything...ok reading is also there...books like genome and freedom make u think out of ur day to day life but even then....off course travelling...this also opens u up in newer ways u may not know...like visiting rome last weekend...its an amazing feeling to see the remnicent of the great roman empire...its must have been magnificent, grandour...and now its all gone and in rubles...

thats life i guess...u could live in many ways...but broadly i think they actually come in three categories...one where u live within the circumstances...not even thinking about...just living seeking happiness in unrealistic things and not getting any...or being happy about things that dont matter that much...just live as the life is leading u...just go by the stream as they say...

second would be the ones who actually start thinking...questioning the age old wisdoms and trying not to follow the rule...they fight, struggle and try not to...here is what the difference sets in between the individuals...some really take the bull by the horns as they say...and move on to the third stage while others keep fighting the circumstances and surroundings and not being able to break the shackles...i think i am that this stage right now...trying...trying...not sure if i have reached somewhere or being out of it...but still i keep trying...i hope one day i will break out...

then i question my this so called wisdom and realize the third stage...when u get over this whole thing of trying to break off...there is no breaking off...there is no such thing as ultimate freedom...freedom is nothing but a state of mind...if you are free in your mind then circumstances and surroundings dont matter...if i am able to live in between the whole life and still be free in sense of thought and mind then i would have really transcended from my second stage to the third stage...

its seems too complicate to me at time...but then i have a tendency to complicate things...dont i...
may be its not that complicated at all...i say to myself now and then...keep living and keep learning...life would lead u to where u should be...

Monday, March 15, 2004

the routineness called life

haven't written in a long time...some how work gets onto me with so much force that it takes me some time rebound and do things i want to really do...but isnt work also part of things i want to do...

anyways...working in an IT company has its advantages and disadvantages...no fixed working hours...nice working env....young people around you...but then you can end up slogging a lot at times...


i really dont know where to take my blog...keep puting down what i am doing as most bloggers do...or just dont bother about whats my daily life but put down what i am thinking...

i think i will stick to my thoughts then my life...in any case i am living it...dont need to put that down to remind myself what my day was like...but puting down my thoughts would make it easier for me to read and think over....



these days i am struggling with routineness of life...its hard to get stuck with one where things are predictable and you are doing what u are suppose to do...having events happening around you with not much you can do about them...some how i hate being in these situations...its just not me to be not in control...

control...well thats a myth i tell myself always...its not something one can get in a life time...i strive for being in control of what i do and i subject myself to...but then life is not to be lead in controls but with instinct...this thought reminded me of the movie i saw couple of years back...'instinct'...it was about something similar...



then i tell myself this strive for control actually pushes ur instincts to the limit and then you are able to think about what u are doing and move forward...which in a way is good so even if i dont reach the level of control i want...i become more aware of my life and way its going and where i can make a difference...